


I Won't Let You

by heart_made_fullmetal



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Blood Drinking, Comfort, Drinking, Drunkenness, Fluff, M/M, hidekane, kanehide - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 07:52:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9063124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heart_made_fullmetal/pseuds/heart_made_fullmetal





	

With a heavy heart, Hide watched as his allies drank away their fears and anxiety of the war that was brewing in the world above them. There were both humans, those with experience in combat, and ghouls drinking alcohol and laughing and howling with cheerfulness that would end for many of them in the days soon to come. Hide knew that many of them would die in the battles against the Washuu clan, V, and the CCG, and he felt partly responsible for it even though it was inevitable in times of war.

 _War…_ Hide thought that was a word that would only be referenced to things he read in history books and never anything that he would experience himself, yet here he was; a commander and strategist for the new allegiance meant to fight for the defeat of a powerfully influential clan, revered by those who had no means to protect themselves. Japanese civilians would no doubt view Hide and other ghoul-loving humans as traitors to their own species. If they lost, they would be written in history books are evil and inhuman. 

He looked out into the crowd and saw Nishiki Nishio drink a pint of aged human blood, something ghouls have created to feel the same sense of inebriation that humans put themselves through. He saw Touka badgering her brother Ayato about drinking, no doubt, as he continued to ignore her and take sips of his own glass of alcoholic blood. He saw Hinami, such an innocent and blameless girl, look out with a smile at the crowd just like Hide was doing; no doubt she was thinking about the unpreventable loss of life. His caught glimpses of former investigators-turned-ghouls talk amongst the crowd of ghouls; there were tears from many of them, vulnerable due to their alcohol consumption, and confessions of regret for what they have done. Many of the ghouls did not know how to respond to this, looking awkwardly from one to the other, patting the former humans on the back in attempts to soothe them.

Hide laughed to himself; it made him happy that so many people of different backgrounds, different species, bonding with each other. Hide wondered why it was never like this. Hide wondered why the Washuu clan chose to keep up this façade of being human, leading to the deaths of so many innocent people, feeding the long chain of hatred and revenge, causing the pain and torture of his dear friend. Hide swallowed the bitter taste that was building in his mouth. He need to relax and let loose like everyone else; after all, Hide could also die on the battle field as well even though he was a noncombatant, though, he could still fight if they really needed him.

Hide, feeling a light tap on his shoulder, turned around and meet the eyes of his friend, Kaneki Ken, who was smiling down at him and holding two glasses of what Hide presumed to be alcohol. Kaneki held out the glass out to Hide, reaching out and gripping the glass, fingerings brushing against each other before pulling apart.

“Thanks, man,” Hide said, taking a whiff of whatever Kaneki thought he would like.

“You seemed like you needed it,” Kaneki commented, “since you seemed kind of uptight.”

The golden haired human pouted and scowled at his friend’s light jab. Though, Hide’s displeasure didn’t last long; it had been so long since they’ve seen each other that Hide deeply missed Kaneki’s sarcastic and snarky humor that Kaneki would have with him only.

“I was having a deep, philosophical and mature thought, and you interrupted. Thanks a lot.” Hide decided to strike back at his friend who smiled wider at Hide’s defense.

“Eeeeh~ You can have mature thoughts?” Here he goes. “You surprise me every day, Hide.”

Hide broke out in laughter, and Kaneki soon followed. It was nice to be able to laugh like this again; it made Hide forget of what was to come soon. He thanked God for giving him another chance to meet with his friend even if it was for one last time. Hide, being as selfish as he was, only wanted this one thing to be truly happy. He could die tomorrow and he would never regret it now that he has gotten to talk to Kaneki again.

“Hey,” Kaneki called out, grabbing Hide’s undivided attention. “Let’s drink at the same time.” Kaneki pointed at their drinking and then at his own mouth. “Remember? We promised each other that we would drink our first _legal_ beer together,” Kaneki reminded him, “though, mine isn’t exactly beer but you get the point.”

Hide thought back at that ridicules promise he made with Kaneki so long ago, something about becoming real men and drinking beer and hitting on girls. Oh boy, Hide cringed just thinking about it. But he wanted to keep that promise which is why when he turned 20 years old, even though Kaneki had long left, Hide never let a drop of alcohol pass his lips; for Kaneki, it was the same thing.

“You’re so cheesy, but if that’s what you want,” Hide always needed to provide a small teasing comment to hide his true emotional state. He was sure if he said what was really on his mind, he would cry his eyes out. Hide gripped his glass as Kaneki did. They both brought the rim to their lips and downed their drinks as fast as they could. Hide wasn’t sure what face Kaneki was making, but Hide could feel his own face wrinkle in disgust. Beer was fucking disgusting.

When he was done, Hide brought his forearm to his mouth to prevent from any vomit to fly though his mouth. He looked over at Kaneki and saw that his face was already flushed from drunkenness. It seemed like his friend could not hold his alcohol. Hide noticed Kaneki’s eyes glaze over and Kaneki’s body sway. Quickly, Hide dove and caught his friend before he slammed to the ground. Hide signed while he held his friend closely, letting him drool all over his shirt.

“ _I didn’t even get a slight buzz…”_ Hide complained to himself while he helped his friend to his feet. The ghoul wrapped his arms around Hide’s neck and let out a long whine of his name. Because Kaneki was so close to his ear, Hide could hear Kaneki sniff, indicating that he was crying.

“ _Oh boy…”_

Hide had to get Kaneki to his room that was given to him. Hide guessed that Kaneki was lucky in a way to be given special treatment for being the One-Eyed King. Hide wondered how they’d react if they found out that once Kaneki cried with a small neighborhood dog chased them on their way to school.

“Come on, buddy,” Hide adjusted Kaneki so he could carry him but Kaneki had a different idea and wrapped his legs around Hide’s waist. Hide could feel himself grow hot. Kaneki whining his name wasn’t helping either.

“Hide…” Kaneki let out repeatedly as Hide walked them to Kaneki’s room.

Hide could hear wolf whistles and howls coming from the men and women, humans and ghouls, as he closed the door behind them.

“They have no shame…” Hide expressed in annoyance and embarrassment. He looked out and noticed that Kaneki had already made his place his home, looking at all the bookshelves and books was a clear indicator of that. Hide smiled to himself and walked to Kaneki’s bed and gently place him down, turning him over in case he needed to throw up at all. But even so, Kaneki did not let him go and only clung to him tighter.

“Ken…let go. You need to sleep that drink out of your system,” Hide tried to reason in the same gentle voice he always found himself using on his friend.

“…”

The ghoul remained silent, leaving Hide puzzled. He tried to pull away again, but Kaneki pulled him down next to him. Hide’s heart ached when he saw his friend look at him with tearful eyes, tears running down his pale skin, liquid dripping from his nose, lips pressed together to prevent his sobs from escaping.

“Ken….what’s wro-“

“I’m sorry…” Kaneki wept.

“Wha…” Hide was dumbfounded. Why was Kaneki sorry? He knew a lot of stuff had happened and Kaneki blames himself, but Hide thought Kaneki had moved past that. “Ken, you don’t have to apologize for anything…” Hide brushed away his tears.

“I’m sorry,” Kaneki repeated, “that I left you alone, for so long. I’m, sorry that I hurt, you.” Kaneki expressed his regret.

“Ken, it wasn’t your fault! You know tha-“ Hide jumped up in exasperation but was quickly cut off.

“I know you say you forgive me, but…” Kaneki stroked Hide’s cheek, “I can’t forgive myself because I know that I hurt you…so much…I wanted to protect you, yet I caused you the most pain. I’m sorry, Hide…”Kaneki covered face in shame, not able to look Hide in the eyes. Hide might have forgiven him for everything but Kaneki need to let this out in order to forgive himself.

No one said anything for a while. Hide plopped down next to Kaneki, who continued to hide his face, and looked up at the eroded, worn out ceiling. Hide thought back and wondered if Kaneki ever did anything that made Hide angry at him. He thought and thought but couldn’t come up with a single incident, nothing at all. Hide wondered just how much he loved this man next to him.

“ _This isn’t healthy at all, Hide.”_ The human laughed at his own voice. “ _But if it’s Kaneki…it’s fine, isn’t it?_ ”

“Hey…” Hide caressed Kaneki’s hair and waited for the half-ghoul to show his face. It took a while but Kaneki finally managed to pry his face away from his arms, letting go of his figurative shield. “Just let me say, I’ll always be here for you, always and forever. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive yourself one day. You have so many people who love you that are willing to be that support you need whenever you need it. Remember that.” Hide reminded, tracing circles on the man’s cheek.

“Hide…” Kaneki nuzzled against Hide’s calloused, scarred hands, covering it with his own, gently removing it and placing a light kiss on his wrist. Using his strength, Kaneki pulled Hide to him and hugged him like he did before. “Thank you…for loving me.”

Hide could feel a lump in his throat. It was becoming hard to hold back his own emotions, breaking down into tears was in close if he didn’t contain himself.

“That’s my line, dummy,” Hide whispered, burying his face in the crook of Kaneki’s neck.

The two remained in each other’s arms as they drifted off into sleep and into a new day.

“Say, Kaneki?” Hide began sleepily, his voice close to failing him.

“Hmmm?” Kaneki’s eyes were already closed, probably half of his conscious was focusing on Hide while the other has left their reality.

“Will you be okay…? If I were to die when the fighting breaks out, I mean…” Hide asked.

Kaneki’s eyes slowly opened; he looked down before raising his eyes to meet Hide’s. Kaneki wasn’t sleep anymore, they were full of raw emotion and determination.

“You won’t die,” he said with confidence, “I will always be there to protect you…You won’t die,” he repeated though it sounded more to himself. Kaneki pressed his forehead against Hide’s. He could feel and hear every breath Kaneki took. He felt Kaneki’s eyes reading him.

“But if I do…”

“You won’t,” Kaneki snapped back.

“Kaneki…”

“No…” Kaneki breathed, “I won’t be okay…”

Hide saw the corner of Kaneki’s eyes water. He wiped them away, in his heart, regretting for making him cry.

“I guess that means I can’t die then, “Hide remarked gently, stroking the soft locks of his friend’s hair.

“I wasn’t going to let you, anyway,” Kaneki asserted confidently.

Hide chucked. “I know, I know,” he agreed. He let the ghoul embrace him, acting as his fortress, his protector, his shield, his sword, his king, his everything for the remainder of his life.


End file.
